Sleep, I miss you.

It's been a rough week in the sleep department.  About a month or two ago, I realized Asher was waking up on a very regular schedule in the middle of the night because he had gotten into the habit of being nursed at those times.  So I spent 4 horrible nights of being up a bazillion times trying to wean him off of nursing at night, and after those 4 nights, believe it or not, we had a glorious month of him sleeping through the night. 

Then a couple of weeks ago, Asher came down with a nasty cold, and was sooo congested and had such a rough sounding throat that the only thing that would soothe him and decongest him was nursing.  I didn't mind it, because he was obviously sick, but as the cold healed, I was starting to notice him getting back onto that regular waking up schedule, so I decided it was time to cut the nighttime nursing again. 

But this time it's been a WHOLE different ballgame, because Asher has in the past month or so (since doing this last time), learned how to pull up to standing in his crib, but does not yet know how to get back down.  So whereas before, I could lay him down and leave him to fuss for a bit in his crib and he'd put himself back to sleep within a few minutes, now, within seconds he's screaming at the top of his lungs, standing, clinging to the bars.  I can't just leave him to fuss anymore... and we've gotten some bonks and bumps already from accidental tumbles against the crib bars. Which of course, just make matters (crying) worse.  :( 

Sooo long story short, Saturday night I was up with him from 1:45 - 3:50.  Sunday night I was up with him from 11:30 - 1:00, and then last night, oh horror of all nights, I was up with him from 11:50 - 3:20, then he woke back up at 4:00 (when I finally caved and nursed him), and then he was up for the day at 6:20. Eric tries so hard to be helpful in the night but Asher who loves his daddy  so much during the day, screams anytime daddy takes him at night.  So sad. :(

My awesome husband, however, voluntarily took a 1/2 day of vacation this morning to play with our child so this sleep deprived mommy could sleep!  It was wonderful, and I am soo grateful.   I still have hope every night, though, that tonight will be the night that this craziness ends, and that he'll go back to sleeping through the night,  but then I also have this horrible fear that in breaking the nighttime nursing habit, we're also somehow creating a new "be awake forever" habit.  Not a fun exchange, and it really leaves us clueless about how to proceed.  Because sitting awake for 3 1/2 hours every night, simply isn't an option (obviously!).

Anyway, sorry for my rambled jumbled emotions spilling out all over the place.  We're tired over here.  But God spoke to me tonight reminding me that he is still in control of even this, and that making poor sleep habits, while draining for us, don't really count as bad parenting, because while we're exhausted, sleep habits are not exactly an eternity issue, if that makes any sense.  For what it's worth, it gave me a little bit of my endurance back to make it through this phase.  Everything is just a phase... at least, that's what I keep telling myself! 

So without boring you further, here's Asher's weekly pic.  We love him dearly, even when we're falling apart all over the place in the middle of the night.  

And just because I'm soooo grateful for Eric today, I'm breaking with weekly tradtion and giving you a couple of daddy pictures from the last few days that absolutely melt my heart. :) I think you'll agree.

Seriously, can these two look anymore alike?  I mean they're even sitting in the exact same way!  Check our their profiles... daddy and his mini-me.  Asher loves, loves, loves music!

And he loves his daddy!

Enjoy your sleep for us!  And keep us in your prayers if you would!  :)

#Meagan