Thursday, May 1, 2014

May Day Flop

So I grew up celebrating May Day (May 1st) with May baskets that we made, simply, and delivered to friends in stealth mode (dropping them off outside the front door, ringing the bell, and RUNNING!). Because if they caught us they could kiss us or pinch us, or something like that. :)   Regardless of what they got to do when they caught us, I have fond memories of the day and the activity.

Now being a stay at home mom to a two and a half year old (and a newborn) life, as much as I love it, can get a little repetitive and long some days.  So with May Day this week, I thought to myself, let's make May baskets this year for something fun and different to do.  It was an innocent thought.

Turns out May Day to a two year old looks something like this:

Making Baskets = that was fun for five minutes, but now I'm just upset that you're still working on those and not playing with me

Delivering baskets in stealth mode = distraught that we're going to ALL my friends houses and not going inside to play with any of them (he is SUCH a social two year old, it's insane! I genuinely felt bad for him at every stop.)

Driving away before getting to see anyone receive their basket = confusion why no one is saying thank you (pure innocence  "They didn't say thank you, mommy.")

Upset, distraught, confused... not exactly what I was going for. :)   It was a SUPER FUN day.  not really.

SO I feel like I should have some  'lessons learned' here, but I'm not sure what.

The most important thing to my child right now is meaningful time playing with him... absolutely.
I need to invest more time planning play dates than projects... sure.

My mom in the wisdom of age and experience suggested that next year we have a May Day party where we invite all of his friends over and give them May baskets when they arrive.... fantasitc idea that I'll probably do next year.

But as I write this post that I intended to just be a humorous recounting of our day (the missteps of a new parent) and to share my mom's awesome idea for next year, my thoughts turned serious. Because the blaring lesson here is just simply that he was too young to understand the activity with too short of an attention span to enjoy it.  But where I'm getting stuck is... too young to understand what?  The fun of giving in secret? 'Cause I want my son to learn that lesson, even if it isn't so fun for him the first time. Even if he's throwing a tantrum because the candy isn't for him.  'Cause life isn't all about him.

We celebrate Christmas, and Easter, and Thanksgiving with our kids far before they understand those too.  "It's easy to give gifts at Christmas when I'm getting them too"... but to give when I'm not receiving, and not get thanked or even have them know it was from me?   I think today was worth it, but I think next year, I'm going to have a MUCH better idea of what I'm trying to teach my son, which will hopefully make it more pleasant day for both of us.  Because those are the lessons worth teaching. And when there's a purpose, even the tough days are worth it. Who knew May Day was so deep?  Not me!  :)

P.S. There were moments of fun today, many in fact, and several of our friends did thank us.   Just so that's understood. :)  Though I think we erred from tradition this year by putting our name on them. Oops.  There's just a good lesson in there somewhere in giving just to give, not for recognition or to get something in return.
The lessons we learn as parents....

See the May Basket on the step and us running away?  :)  We did have some fun today. :)


3 comments:

Paisley said...

Awwww Asher is so sweet and innocent. I love this story! I think it's hard for us as parents to understand when to start traditions with them. You did good for making an effort! I'm sure you and Asher (and Everett!) brightened lots of people's day today!

Rhonda said...

Meagan - if I know Asher what you did together will be remembered by him next year more than you know. In his own way he will understand and pick up on your excitement and the fun of doing it. You're doing a GREAT job instilling in him those values that will forever shape his life. Love you both!!

Reagan Urbanec said...

I love this post! You're an amazing mom and I love that you reflect on these experiences and share them with the world. Maybe next year (depending on what a 3 year old's mentality is - I have no idea), while you're out and about you could have a neighbor slip over a mommy-made May Day basket so when you get back Asher would have a surprise for him too. That way, he could feel what you felt as a child. Either way - what a fantastic day. Thanks for sharing!